Just Jie Yang now.

Yes, I appeared in the Teacher’s day video, if you were thinking who was that tall and skinny guy next to Jon Quek and Koh Kaijun.

Anyway, I think with such events coming one after another, I am beginning to appreciate the council’s presence in the school, because they organize events pretty well, and I loved the appearance of Royston Tan, Liu Ling Ling and the cast of 12 Lotus in my school today.

Teachers’ Day, by the way, is also a good platform to showcase talent, such as the playing of saxophone and showing how much breath you can hold your lungs, combined with an experiment of whether the glass windows will break when you hit the high notes.

[If you still don't get it, I taking a punch at the saxophone performance which ruptured my ear drums.]

Anyway, this is what the councillors do to get what you see in the buckets they lug around the wings. The chopping of sunflower leaves, wrapping of roses, etc.

And that’s Lianseng, and Chenchi.

Anyway, I know this is supposed to be a family orientated and kid safe site, but I just want to let you all know that if we were kinder to animals this world would be a less gory place.

Yup. It’s been a nice end to the term although the workload has been tremendous and the environment has been stressful.

Let’s go, promos, let’s go (Clap x2)(Repeat twice)

I just realised that studying, has the word dying in it. Studying.

And promo rhymes with emo.

And being a loser when you’re not a loser just makes you a bigger loser than the average loser.

Sorry for the pessimistic thoughts, it’s just that when exams come, as much as you’re relaxed and all and trying not to panic, everyone arounds you start this mad rush to study and cram books, making you panic over your relaxed state, in your relaxed state, which isn’t really effective motivation.

Then you hit this point of no return, where you decide that oh, screw it, just mug the crap, and rob it of all its knowledge (Get it? Mug and rob LOL). This inadvertently adds to other people’s stress level, and it becomes a vicious cycle.

Kinda like an autocatalytic process.

Where concentration of reactant is number of people who are alive and still studying.

Okay, enough of crapping, I think I shall not deprive myself of sleep anymore.

As you all might know, these few days have been rather wet, and the roads have been rather slippery, so all motorists should take caution and drive slowly. But this may however, be dangerous, and shown above.

The car in front slowed down so much that the laggier driver at the back crashed into the front car’s ass. Dense white fumes evolved, as you can see in the photo. It was all pretty cool, one loud screech and a nice bang to catch our attention.

Weekian called the newspaper hotline, and I hope he got some cash out of it. The drivers emerged unhurt though, which was a waste, cos they didn’t have some road rage after that.

Moral of the story? Slow drivers suck too.

48 topics, 31 days.

2.7 inches in 1 term. Multiply by 4.

Gives you nothing but stress and busted doors.

I think what irks me now is my total lack of concentration, my total lack of motivation, and my total lack of ability to shut off all my irritants.

I need something to get out of my life.

The problem is, aye, I don’t know what it is.

Get on with it already, you nut.

I just wish sometimes, I had like a clique, a best friend with me in class, someone who shares exact same thoughts as me and can lame around with me.

And somehow rather, that idea falls short, since the only one who can stand me, perfectly, is me, and I don’t have a twin.

Doing two emo posts within an hour of each other is pretty sian too.

After a short intellectual conversation, I realise that having a clique is important to the survival of Junior College. If I were to walk from lecture theatre to a classroom alone, with no one with me, I’ll feel naked and lost, if I walked with Wei Sheng and Randy only, I’ll feel left out sometimes, and if I were to be encapsulated by all the rest of the people in class, and yet not speak to any one of them, I’ll feel weird too.

I am not sure why this is happening to me. As I grow older, friendship becomes this recurring theme in my life, and I cannot discount it, it is simply too important to be buxue about it. The fact that I am pretty much disgustingly attributed with an attitude problem doesn’t help my situation at all.

And the touching on the subject of emotional quotient made me feel distinctly queasy and uncomfortable, no denying about that, despite my hard-shot attempt to keep a straight face. I suppose it’s because I possibly know every single thing that was covered, yet not accomplished a single bit of it, except to be self aware.

I just don’t want to be like that, get what I mean? It’s not about individuality; I can toss that aside to pick up another day, not about wanting to be non-conformist; I can be that when I’m rich and money is more worthless than my saliva, but rather, living my life purposefully, not just going with the flow without knowing anything that’s truly going on, and not participating in stuff objectively.

Okay forgive me, I don’t even know what I’m rambling about already.

Anyway, I’m just in this sore mood now, and despite everything I’ve inferred and everything others have told me, I just can’t shake the feeling that I will go down this path, and end up in flames.

It’s not the most wonderful feeling on earth, and you might want to drag me back into the rat race.

He lost his mushu.

I don’t know why, I am losing my mushu. Don’t ask me what’s mushu, I cannot put it down in words too, because it’s something intangible. Very much like a mish-mash between youth and childhood and happiness and innocence, very much everything that I once had and will never be able to replenish once lost.

If you don’t know what I am saying, then just repeat after me. I. Am. Losing. My. Mushu.

The thing is, whenever we get high and all and laugh a lot, poke fun at stuff (and humans), we always hit that low, where you stroll alone through the park and wonder, hey, what the hell did I just do, what in the world have I done to better my life, or better others’ life.

I would say, everytime I ask myself that question, I would arrive at the same answer. Like Charlie Brown, the voice in the night would say “Nothing.”

I am really tired after so many late nights, by my definition (I usually do an 11pm, recently been sleeping at 1130), and after the trenching up of double eyebags underneath those tired eyeballs and the looming signs of pimples during to the accumulation of hot chi, I finally realised that my chase of punctuality when it comes to homework, at this stage, is far from reality.

Why do I say so? You see ah, yesterday I had Biology tutorial (which was just plain copying from the notes), Math tutorial (I’ve been spending like 6 hours over 3 days doing 10 questions), and after completing them, I realised that I have my project work, which is organizing a blogging competition, plus the completion of the work report, and I&R, left, and the threatening lack of time for me to start revising for my promos.

So well, let’s be realistic, I can only do at the most, not one, not half, but a quarter assignment at a time, which is like the maximum my attention span can carry me, and this is not including all my break times. Plus, I have limited amounts of time, before my dad starts questioning my time spent on the computer, already extremely paltry for a 17 year old.

I know, it sucks. And there’re probably like teens out there with a much stronger desire to succeed in life than me, but loan sharks are doing abstract art on their doors, and their parents are out boozing their brains to sludge. I think the key to motivation is really baseline and primal now, it’s either I do my revision and die in the process, or do my revision and die in the process.

Not really much of a choice.

But I’ll persevere. It’s all a matter of mind over matter, and since matter cannot be destroyed, all that’s left is the mind to wreck.

Unlike the Chinese elite, I would like to think of Singapore as winning the silver, rather than losing the gold. We have put up a great fight for all games initially, and nothing bests the feeling of clinching not a bronze, but a silver medal at the Olympics for the first time in coming 5 decades.

Nevertheless, I would like to express my disappointment at the lack of a public holiday tomorrow. I was banking on it to get my way out of the impending Math lecture test next morning.

May the lords transfer all the luck from Singapore Olympic team to me, and bless me with immense intelligence tomorrow morning.

I never loved my country more than when Feng Tianwei ended her match, and guranteed Singapore a medal yesterday. I watched the reruns of the matches from 10-11 last night before going to sleep, and to be honest, I think that Li Jiawei is kinda impatient at playing the game, which killed her chances at securing victory and resulted in Feng Tianwei being the heroine of the day.

The South Koreans were just defending and defending, and defending, to the point where when Wang Yue Gu had a go at a simple shot, they were finished. Most balls that screwed up during the doubles match were also the result of Li Jiawei’s lack of patience, which nearly did them in if not for Wang Yue Gu’s precision.

Nevertheless, I could totally imagine how every Singaporean cheered when the South Korean did a mis-calculated shot and helped Singapore get seeded as world’s number 2 team.

The thing about patroitism and loving one’s country is, most people only want to be there when there is something to be proud of, or when they have contributed towards the nation’s growth, and feeling pride in their work.

When asked about something symbolic about life and death yesterday during General Paper class yesterday, I did a rather immature show and tell using a condom, which Weilin most happily provided. I think, if I had to choose to give my life for something, it will seriously be my country, although my brothers tell me that the army would not let me take up arms in wartime.

There is but, one life to give for your country.

I am not sure of how the paddlers of Singapore would feel when they receive their medals in Beijing, if the thought that they just took the medal from their “old country”, for their new country, of choice, or not.

I certainly do not mind them helping our country get some medals at Singapore, and to be honest, I’m already tired of the should-foreign-talent-help-us debate. It’s endless, and I think, as long as they love our country, help us get the medals, and we love them back, all is alright.

Perhaps, if Tan Howe Liang was a Chinese-import back then, Singaporeans would be more accepting of Chinese Nationals helping us in the hunt for medals back in Athens and Sydney in the past decade. But obviously, that did not happen.

Enough said, I love Singapore and Feng Tianwei clearer than ever now.

Long due tag replies…
Weekian, Lifern, Anonymous: I know I suck at dancing la haha tall people have natural disadvantage.
Chiki, Yufei: Yup
Liang: HELLOOO! Somebody’s birthday coming soon ah. Not gonna say who.

Happy birthday Shao Fei! You’re the best China-export to Singapore to me after 4 years man.

After FENG TIANWEI.