Just Jie Yang now.

Victor, this is the guest post for your blog. The seventh blog killer. In collaboration with crazyhamster.net ’s Blog Killers, I shall be posting about how Cam-Whoring can kill your blog. Sadly, the model is me.

The first sin. You as the model. The sole face in the photo, and you are not a Men’s Health model, nor an FHM girl. You should know if you’re not. Girls will flock to you, or guys will drool when you pass by.

Example of a stupid photo.

Yesh. As you can see, the above pic is sadly, neither too aesthetically pleasing, nor is the content of the photo very interesting. If you are thick, it simply means that don’t post photos of an ugly you, nor a boring photo which will cause people to click a link to another site as soon as possible.

Always include other people, whom have large social bearing and thus would be less prone to criticism. It also draws attention away from the ugly face.

The second sin. Including many pictures of yourself. Such as those above. Never ever do that. And all with your face taking the centre stage.

Example of suicidal ego-ing.

You would get flamed for over exposure of your face. Same rule. Unless your Mr or Miss World, please, don’t do such a thing.

Third Sin. Add dumb, bimbotic captions. It helps to make people laugh at your stupidity, and it can be a real ice-breaker when people you meet at new events recognize you by your beautiful face.

I am however, unable to add bimbotic comments to my photos, it is not within my intelligence quotient to do so.

Remember these three deadly sins. And be sure never to commit them, or your blog stats will errr, be like Zhi Yang’s blog when he’s on a hiatus.

Damn, now I’m like totally ashamed of myself. Thanks Victor.

You probably know, or don’t know, or don’t want to know that my birthday is today. Yup. Never mind if you don’t. Hee. Anyway, thanks, limzhen, congyi and nicole for smsing me in the morning to keep me awake throughout the car ride this morning. And charlene for wishing me during reading period. And lastly the class guys who were wondering why on earth did I have a rice bag on my table, which was graciously given to me by the farmer boy, Shao, and the ex-con Wee kian.

Can you see? Shao is tip-toeing, that’s why he can’t slouch like me. Haha. That’s the bag of rice in my hands. I looked totally like a cow when I went shopping for Teachers’ Day presents in West Mall. Bleah =P Thanks for the dogtag too, liang.

I wanted to get this for Loi.

Hee. Not the actual picture, but there was this 2.20 cuttlefish/dried squid snack that was humongous and said big squid on it. I wanted to get that for her, it represented my utmost gratitude for her. (For those slow ones, read the name of the snack above.)

Heh. Possibly for Chiu too. But I did not buy anything for her. I shall not be mean nor grateful towards an old women who killed any little passion in me for the sacred language of Chinese.

Anyway, I spent 23.50, I think.

Hmmm 16. Maybe I should catch an NC film tomorrow. (Not like I couldn’t fake to get in anyway.)

Happy Teachers’ Day, all those slaves to education out there.

Failing Chinese?

Don’t know what those stupid stuff on the worksheet mean?

Or you simply hate your chinese teacher?

No fret, your anti-Chinese device here. Ironically, this little laptop-like device here, can save your filthy ass. Imagine this, you are doing a stupid 20 mark Zhong He Tian Kong, and you have no freaking idea what on earth those worm-like things mean. That bulky dictionary attracts attention with its bright red cover, and earns you the evil eye from teacher. So, just discreetly whip out your 115 gram palm size dictionary to check up that word. 20/20 is the way to go, in a world where Chinese is a crap subject.

Don’t hestitate no more. Get it today for 25.70, and learn Chinese the simple way.

Hmm the group photo taken by Joshua. The drums sabbatical instructor. I look happy, don’t I. Heh, John and I were trying to be happy. And I still can’t figure out why Kwang Yueh is in the photo.

Anyway, there was a blackout today in class during Geog. All the way till Chinese, where Chiu decided that it was not a bad idea to go to library and stone. Honestly I don’t see the difference. We will just waste away regardless of location, the library only makes it more obvious that we are not listening. I think Chiu is living constantly in self denial that we all love her lessons. I think anyone who liked her lessons now do not. She gave out three stacks of reports and essays to read through, and is giving us a mock EOY test on Wednesday, telling us triumphantly that she got the Wednesday slot during Holiday without even having to compete with other teachers. Apparently, the 8-10am spot on the celebrated Wednesday of the hols was the primetime.

Okay, take a look at the downpour this morning. I was thanking the old man up there for flooding NY.

Hee. The trees look so solemn. Kinda reminds me of the scene during LOTR where dunno Merry or Pippin stupidly grabs the bowling ball and looks into the future, only to see the tree burning.

Can you see NY? No. WEEEHAAAAAA~

Anyway, I shan’t complain. It was a great blackout. Somewhat a great prelude to the wondrous wonderful Chinese lesson. And if you are free, perhaps, you could let me know what you think I am like by doing this simple Johari Window thingy. http://kevan.org/johari?name=jieyang!

Happy birthday 2nd Bro

Happy birthday, Liang

I feel extra motivated to follow the council’s instructions, so I marked on my leg a six inch line (sorry it got erased when I kept scratching my leg during Chinese), and proceeded to wear my quarter socks as high as that line. Thank god the socks’ lining ripped before I wore them. They could barely reach that line, and my toes were cramped up by the end of Math lesson.

I think today’s test results were totally sucky. You couldn’t imagine what crap I got. I got an A1 overall for Chinese, but I had forgotten to do a five mark question for the comprehension, leaving me with a utterly stupid score of 28/40. Cool. Chiu refused to hear any of my brilliant excuses. This was followed by math, which I got B3 again. Last two tests both B3. Loving it. It was B4 at first, but she calculated wrongly, and she added marks to one question, raising my grade to a fabulous B3. Sigh.

 Then came my wonderful English. I just had to score. It’s the only subject I had faith in.

 I got 24/40!

Hee. Did the victory dance, then I saw the comments, which said my arguments were somewhat unclear due to my convoluted English. Didn’t really care, cause Mrs. Lee said Qn. 5 was a killer question, and doing that question was suicide. I was like yelling “Ay!” But she dao me. Love her to bits. 24, yo! Can you take the heat? xD Quinn got 15 and Shao got 18. Hadn’t heard of other suicidal cases.

But my cheap thrill was kinda cut short when my SRQ came back. Heh, I got 12/20. 2 more marks to total A1 leh. T.T Now I’m stuck with stupid in-the-middle A2. But I must be grateful to Heaven. It was raining like crazy during the three periods where I got back my results. I think the old man up there was crying for the lack of intellect by my teachers for giving me such poor marks.

Anyway, here’s a wonderful excerpt of conversation (monologue actually) during Physics lesson.

Form Teacher = FT

FT: Err class, you know arh you may take this as good news, or bad news.

Class: -Murmur Murmur- What the fcuk you talking about?

FT: you may take this as good news, or bad news. (repeats herself unconsciously. I call this the Cro-magnon Man syndrome.)

FT: You may have lessons during Monday. You come to school same time aas today, in school uniform, then you go for phy lessons from 8 to 10.

Class: -Murmur Murmur- FUCK LAH

FT: Then horh, you have don’t know don’t know lesson to don’t know don’t know what time, then you have don’t know don’t know what lesson to don’t know don’t know what time….

jieyang: You everything also don’t know than how we know.

FT: I don’t care lah, so long you may have physics lesson till 10, then you have physics test too. (jieyang: siao. super cool) then horh, this Thurs, you tell chiu lao shi release you earlier (wow, if I can do that, I must have the license to kill), then you go lab to take your test. Cannot be late horh.

jieyang: Go lab for what?

FT: (DAO) might be a bit cold, so you all don’t mind right?

Class: We mind…

FT: Then I come to class lah… I tell Chiu release 5 minutes earlier.

If she can do that, I will salute her. I bet you my dear Chinese teacher will display what is affectionately known as a “battle of wills” with my FT/Physics teacher. Never mind, I only know that I go into standby mode during Chinese lesson, and blink-blink mode during Physics lesson. Not much of a transition in terms of mood.

Apparently, my beloved student’s council has made another attempt at engaging the student population to accomplish their noble goals of making the school a more wonderful place to study in, a more conducive place to hone our young minds and gain more treasure troves of knowledge.

 This is what they have posted on the message board. Do read with utter seriousness.

Dear students,

It has been noted that recently, students have not been following

the school's regulations regarding socks and shoes. Thus, here is a

friendly reminder regarding the regulations for socks and shoes in

this school:  All shoes should be at least 70% black, blue or white

while all socks must cover the ankle and should preferably be six

inches above the heel. These rules are a privilege and might be

taken away if not adhered to. As such, the council hopes the school

would adhere to this rules and take them more seriously to prevent

this scenario from ever happening.

Yours sincerely,

34th High School Students' Council

Yup.

Six inches above the heel. If you do not know where that is, it’s about an inch or two above the ankle. I don’t know about you, but I try my best to wear my socks at the ankle, not below the ankle. I think that’s perfectly fine. But an inch or two more, and boy, I’m glad I’m wearing long pants this year.

Anyway, did you notice the wonderful usage of the English Language? “These rules are a privilege and might be taken away if not adhered too.” Please, do take them away, as my clever friend Yun Heng pointed out on MSN, it would be much better if there were no rules and we could all wear ankle socks.

So please, do not adhere to the rules.

And on another note, I think my skin is like oblivious to the fact that I wash it once every three weeks, it just goes back to normal (before it was washed). Shan’t comment on my hair.

“Unrequited love is love that is not reciprocated, even though reciprocation is usually deeply desired. This can lead to feelings such as depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, and mood swings such as swift changes between depression and euphoria. A notable form of unrequited love is self-inflicted masochistic infatuation.”

Heehee. I think that’s one Zhong Ning is going through now. After the lovable girl was said by Bing Xiang to be making out in the Band Room with a band guy named Jason. Making out, yo. I was actually wondering how was that even possible. Our school is like totally unprivate. You do something, everyone is bound to know. Thank god I have learnt the art of hiding, so hello? Let me teach you a few rules before you want to do something you don’t want anyone, anyone, to know.

1. Never do something that is so likely to be you. Duh. Self-explanatory.

2. If you are doing something that is likely to be you, find/forge a good cover. Eg. you want to snog someone, but you are unbelievably hideous. So don’t do it somewhere where others will find out lah. Cmon, Singapore is not that small. I’m sure if you can think of the Band Room, you can think of the Handicapped Toilet.

3. Believe in your cover. But don’t be reckless. Alas, to lie, to deceive, believe you are doing it/ did it. It works. Your brain tunes to the lie, you forget whatever you did, and nothing that you did will ever be revealed. And please, if you are freaking despo, please don’t snog someone then say “she’s so ugly, who wants to snog her?” No one will believe. Cos you’ll snog Norbit.

4. Calculate risk. Is it worth taking the risk? Haha, always do this before hand. Trust me, if you know the guy is a judo exponent, and will go for your neck, heh, then you better be a good liar and hider.

5. Finally, know when to stop the game. Don’t ever let your guard down. You know that such an indecent act is bound to last in someone’s mind, so please, be on the constant frame of mind, ready to lie. Get ready a worthy scapegoat that trusts you, will repeat whatever you say, and unlikely to be smart enough to find out you’re lying to him too.

Yup, this is just the main rules of the game. Live by it. I may be lying about it though ^.^

Anyway, I truly wish everyone not to be overly-obsessed by a girl. Or a boy (if you’re a girl or a gay). Some stuff ain’t worth it, and most won’t work according to plan.

Remember Murphy’s Law? Trust me. It’s true. I got A for my final year innovation project. Trust me, that wasn’t in the plan.

And I must say I’m a good concealer of feelings. I may laugh a lot. Can you tell which is the true laughter and which is the fake one?

Anyway, this is Darling Daryl Leong. He has this wonderfully comical face when he sings or laughs. Kinda infectious.

Love is a many splendid thing – Moulin Rouge

I just cut my hair.

 At Wee Kian’s hairdresser.

 And I feel FREAKING GOOD!

Hahaha it’s like when I have the long hair, everything just sucks, your hair flops, you can’t concentrate cause you’re always thinking how ugly/much uglier you look like. I think Weeki’s hairdresser is a good change from my regular, especially when I’ve been there since three months old. I like my hair now, it’s cut by a scalpel that looks like a butter knife, but who cares, she’s super skilled. Weekian say I look like Ryuk (the Shinigami in Deathnote). Heh, I supposed that’s a compliment from a total anime buff who gets angry when I happen to insult any character.

Damn, I forgot to get her address and number so I can go there the next time. Hee ^.^

I totally suck at drums, my legs aren’t listening, my large size 13 feet keep getting in the way, and my right hand totally sucks. I think the drums are cursed, I can do it back at my seat, go to the drums and I screw up fabulously.

Hmph.

Anyway, there’s a second blogging competition coming up, the prizes are 2 Macbooks and 2 Nokia N90 Communicators, both which have lots of value. I am so gonna win that freaking prize. I want the MacBook to go with my (future) Ipod.

Sorry Victor, PSP is, as William says, good only when you don’t have it, and have the desire to play.

Gonna shower now, have to wash the gel off before it streaks down my face in my sweat.

And I shall wash my face for the first time in 3 weeks. =P

Oh my god, today is like the best day of my life for the past one month. I sent an email to Mr. Ho asking him to help me post an SMB message (that’s Hwa Chong’s Message Board) and he actually did! HAHAHAHAHA I am so getting the freaking wii. Ipod, Ipod, where are thou?

Weekian described this as “the wtf message”:

xD I don’t really care. That freaking wii is mine. (Sorry Kuan Hua, you copied my entry, and posted in two entries. That’s blatant cheating, I can’t ask Ho to post for you)

On another note, I still have to give my scammer of a second brother 50 bucks for his far-reaching influence. Apparently, he thought views=votes. If that was the case, the F5 button of my keyboard would be busted by now.

On another note, zhongning that friend of mine was repeatedly sms-ing throughout class. My wonderful 千里眼 spotted “Qing Yi” at the top of the message view. Amazing, eh, how things are progressing between them.

There’s this bunch of moronic sec 1s in the class that can’t shut their traps and can’t stop their spasms (at the hands). Half the noise that echoes the class is caused by the “Moron Five”. Totally love them. They make me wonder.

You can see the rose/s among the thorns. (I’m trying to be kind horh, especially when not-so-slim felicia chin is in the photo). Heh, my friend’s rose is the one in P.T kit.

Love it whenever I screw up during the drumming practice . It’s like the only thing I do effortlessly.

I am attending the drums sabbactical today. And there are two SC girls there, which means that the sec 4 boys are acting totally like morons, (I’m just laughing away most of the time), and the sec 2s give the girls the definition of idiots, which greatly exemplifies why the sc girls go back having nothing but good things to say about hwachong. I think their speech were edited by their hosts before they went up to speak at the mike. Oh well, let’s just say if the sec 2s continue acting like idiots again tomorrow, banging their sticks like monkeys with an iron pole, I’ll go-hulk-with-a-lampost on them.

The instructors pretty cool, they really know they’re stuff, and thank god they are patient. I am like concussed when it comes to hand-leg co-ordination. They were blabbing something about having independent sides of the mind so as to multi-task, or rather, use different limbs to play to different rhythms at the same time, but somehow, my mind seems like just a piece of useless mass today. I can’t play the basic 8-beat groove thingy, which drives me crazy, cause I’ve been like listening to yellowcard and taking back sunday, and I totally want to be like their drummers.

It’s like uber cool, can?

 Anyway, back to the thing about the sc girls. There’s a sec 2 and a sec 3, and Zhong Ning one of my friends was like going “she’s damn cute lah” all the way throughout the damn thing, and finally making me lose the bet by talking to her. I am officially stunned. How on earth can any sec 4 hit on a sec 2 girl whom you barely know? Somewhat just wrong. Anyway, the point is, the sec 3 girl was pretty pitiful, if she could think what we guys were thinking, or hear what we were talking. Sorry, boys will be boys, and Davin was saying she’s a “fat felicia chin” plump. I am so after looks when it comes to superficial relationships that I know will stay superficial.

Yeah, and I ended my day with meeting two of my wonderful ex-volleyball seniors. (I quit in sec 2.) I can bet my freaking head that they were wondering why on earth am I so tall. I can bet my life. And the most vicious thought popped into my head, with every single bad memory flooding back.  矮冬瓜。So bad, but who cares? You are short, never won a single competition, and are freaking snobs. Betcha they’re despised in jc.

Heh. Never cross paths with me. I am one evil kid.